Sunday, 20 November 2011

THREE WEEKS, FOUR EXAMS AND A COUPLE OF SENTIMENTS

I must admit that I have just had the longest three weeks this year. Somehow, the gods want to prolong the three week streak by adding a fourth week! In fact, I am still negotiating with them for a hiatus. I thought it would be prudent to jot down a few remarks from the three-week experience as I wait for their reply:

1. I officially accept that medicine is a grey area. For starters, any medical experiences (like exams) that turn you from a ‘doctor hopeful’ to a ‘pessimistic-optimist’ are proof of this. Other grey things include the 2.5kg grey's anatomy textbook, grey stethoscopes, and the plenty of grey I have been seeing lately every time I open my closet!

2. This goes to all medical students. If you have an oral exam and an inner voice tells you that an Egyptian lecturer might to oral you, please turn around and scurry for your life as fast as your distal appendages can carry you. An exception is if this Egyptian lecturer is one Prof. Malek of Embryology. You see, Romans crucified wrong doers; Egyptians on the other hand have a thing for medical students. After they crucify you mentally, they might mummify your brains just because they can. (yes, I had an Egyptian examiner for my orals)

3. I think I have a case of mild egyptiophobia. (Refer to sentiment no. 2)

4. ........Screw fear. (now that’s what I call a fast recovery)

5. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I am still working on the physiological and anatomical explanation to this theory. In the meantime, it is safe to assume that men with dysgeusia, esophageal stenosis, GERD and other intestinal pathologies DO NOT conform.

6. The line between straight and gay is getting thinner by the day. I partly blame Kenyan TV stations and all the soaps they have been airing lately.

7. The only person who can solve your problems is you. Other people only serve to guide you, or help you realize how stupid you are. From me to you, this is so true.

8. ‘A bro leaves the toilet seat up for his bros’. Ref: Article 81 of Barney Stinson and Michael Kuhn’s Bro Code. That book is a must read for all the bros!

9. Many writers suffer from depression or a bipolar disorder at one time in their lives. This is bad news and it gets worse:

10. ‘He who lives by the sword dies by the sword!’ That’s the writing on the wall in my former hostel room. I caught a glimpse of it amidst a heated argument with this angry halls custodian. Well, since I’d still like to become a surgeon someday and live by ‘the scalpel’, a little part of me wonders how all that will end. But alas, I digress from the main reason I am here. That regardless where life takes me, I’m bent on living great so I can die free.

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