Friday, 15 June 2012


The deputy director of this hospital wanted to communicate major changes in policy to all the consultants on call. He summoned them all to a meeting in the board room. Having facilitated the building of the new trauma theater, the orthopedic surgery team was on his side. They even told him to break a leg. After the meeting was over, this is how the other consultants responded.

The ophthalmologists pondered over it. They could see the deputy director’s point of view, but they concluded that his ideologies were myopic. The radiologists on the other hand thought it was all in black and white. They could see right through the whole thing.

The immunologists knew that the idea favored some departments more than others. They got quite defensive over its implementation. The dermatologists however wanted more time to think it through. They didn’t want to make any rash decisions.

The gynecologists felt that the deputy director was a crafty man. In trying to put a finger into the matter, they concluded that his ideas were rather slippery. The obstetrics team on the other hand found the newly communicated policy hard to conceive. However, they agreed to labor over it before airing their final take.

The urologists were annoyed that the deputy director didn’t look well into their affairs. They pissed over the whole idea. The pharmacists were just as aggrieved. They inwardly hoped that someday soon the deputy director would get a dose of his own medicine. The pediatric physicians however thought urologists and pharmacists were acting rather childish: they even asked them to ‘grow up.’

The cardiologists thought that the deputy director’s concerns were heartfelt. They were all for the new policy. The ENT specialists however could hear none of it. They hoped the deputy director would swallow his words sooner than later.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling that some things did not quite add up. They had found the new policy hard to digest. The proctologists felt that the deputy director's ideas were rather constipated. In fact, something didn’t quite smell right.

The neurosurgeons could not wrap their minds around the issue. The neurologists thought the director had a lot of nerve. On consulting the psychiatric team however, they unanimously agreed that the new policy was insane. The chest medicine specialists concurred with this view, after all: the deputy director was asking too much of them. They really needed a breather.
While plastic surgeons felt that the new policy could use a facelift, their general surgeon counterparts had already dissected the idea into a simplified version. They were all for it. The worst reaction however came from the pathologists. After the deputy director finished his speech, the head of the pathology department stood up and started marching out in protest. Just as he got to the front door, he turned around facing the deputy director and said, “Over my dead body!"

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